'[I] really milked it': Server pulls cheesy dad joke on a large party with a $7,000 bill, pays off big time and table leaves 55% tip in cash on top of the 22% gratuity

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    Posted by u/JupiterSky Falls 10 hours ago Taking guests literally can be fun... Long I follow a lot of these Server Life and such threads because I was in SI for so long. I love reminiscing, sharing. wisdom and hacks, swapping stories. I hung up my apron in 2020 after 2 decades of everything from fast food to fine dining, cashier to cook, server to managing.
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    I remember one night at a popular fine dining chain, we had a large group of VIPS that were broken into groups of 6-12 because there were so many, in town for a convention. They had company CCs without per diems, and were known to splurge for their out of town folks. I got one of the "big wigs" of the group in my party of 10. The host kept telling me to bring the best wine in a loud
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    voice while conspiratorially whispering (purposefully loud enough for others to hear) make that the house blend, yaddah yaddah. Har.Har. Har. Lol I went along with it, good naturedly, making jokes to stay with the theme. But once I realized this guy was definitely the one paying, for what quickly became a very expensive dinner for 10, I stepped it
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    up a notch. Really milked it. They loved me. The host, especially, cuz I went out of my way to make him look like the ham he was trying to be, and everyone was having a good time. After hours of back and forth knee slappers, bazingas, and terrible innuendos, analogies and dad jokes,
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    he announces to the group that if they want anything else for the evening, now is the time to mention it because he's headed home for the evening. Dessert for the wife, late night snack for the kids, bottle of wine to take up to the hotel room? Speak now or hold your peace. A few did make last minute to go orders. He asked me for the check,
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    while loudly demanding I bring him to smallest bill possible with a wink and a big smile. I leave them to enjoy their espressos and night caps and head off to tally everything up. At this point I've invested a whole night to this group, declining any smaller tables that were offered to me out of kindness for my small guest count so I could focus on them. Of courses there was an
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    But I was truly hoping for autograt. a bump. So as I'm printing the receipt, I get an idea. I bring the check presenter book and, with a flourish, set it down standing open, facing the host, of course. I say, Sir, this is the smallest possible bill I could manage, please forgive me, I do hope it's to your liking. He looks inside and starts gaffawing. He's red faced, laughing, and turns the book around so his dining companions can see that I've
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    used our photocopier to shrink the itemized receipt down to a little bigger than a quarter, and used a small piece of tape to fasten it in the middle of the presenter. The whole table was laughing as I bowed out gracefully. When I came back to collect the card, they all commented on my "performance" to which I
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    responded: What? This is all HIM (points to host) Do you know how much he paid to have me come here, act as a server and say nice things about him all evening? Arm and leg, I tell ya! Your dinner barely put a dent in the down payment he spent on a professional actor and bribing the restaurant to be in on the gig.
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    The look on his face was priceless. Well, actually not. The look on his face did have a price, and it was paying the 22% gratuity on the card and leaving a whopping additional 50% in cash when he finally left after thanking me and shaking my hand. I do kinda miss creatively coming up with ways to finesse a little extra from those with more than they need hehe
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    Creme_Bru_6991. 9 hr. ago You've piqued my curiosity do you recall what the bill total was?
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    JupiterSkyFalls OP. 9 hr. ago I honestly don't remember the precise total. I know it was over 5 k cuz I did a little celebratory dance when I rang in another bottle of Opus One, they'd already gone thru a couple of double magnums of Duck Horn and Caymus. It never reached 10k or I'd definitely remembered. If my memory serves
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    it was low 7? Like lower than 7,250 I think. It was so dang long ago lol I just remembered being stoked that my confidence I'd only recently found at that stage was quite literally paying off. I was so proud of myself and my progress. The money was amazing, but it wasn't what I held in the limelight at the time. Crazy, right? Lol
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    ross2752 10 hr. ago A great performance and a perfect reward

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